Continued

Incredibly, three further years have come and gone since I wrote my postscript. Three quite turbulent years.

Early in 1997 I attended Richard Hughes' wedding in York - Trevor was unwell and could not be there. For me it was the beginning of a traumatic period. After the wedding I drove to Liverpool to spend the weekend with Dilys. After quite a full day, I was tired beyond normal expectations - it was the onset of a period of lethargy and deep depression. There were contributory factors like fewer calls from the Hospice and bad news of Trevor, but I learned from my doctor that the real cause was a deficiency of serotonin in my brain, and was prescribed medication to rectify this deficiency. The medication caused quite horrible side effects, and I was tempted to abandon it. Happily, my doctor, supported by Louise, persuaded me to continue. I invoked the Caterham School motto "omnia vinces perseverando" and within weeks was back in the "real world." During this period, I had my bed moved downstairs to the breakfast room, and on several occasions fear of being on my own led to spending nights with Louise. Although the medication had cured my depression, I still felt very tired and completely lacking in energy. This must have been very apparent to my Hospice friends at a farewell party for Beverley, our retiring occupational therapist. The other guests, nearly all medical people, were very concerned for my well being, and ability to drive home. I was not able to make my annual visit to Berriew or join the Scarborough holiday.

While having a pacemaker check, I requested an appointment with Dr. Hall. This duly followed and he prescribed Digoxin. The effect was miraculous, within days I felt so much better and was able to return to my upstairs bedroom. By this time I had decided to seek sheltered accommodation, and made tentative enquiries. I was offered a flat in the centre of the village, which I turned down on several counts, not least the fire hazard of only one access door. The second offer of a bungalow in Church Drive was also rejected on advice from my "housing advisor" Ros, who pointed out that it was too far from the centre of the village. I was concerned that I might not have a further offer, but was assured by Ros, who is well versed in the folklore of the village, that I surely would. Shortly after I was offered 13 Hollygarth Close, which I accepted on the spot. I could not have made a better decision. My bungalow is very convenient, with open country on one side, and the river and High Street on the other, and within easy walking distance of the shops. I put my house up for sale, and set about "trimming" the contents. Fortunately Kate was buying a house in Newcastle and was only too happy to take a fair amount.

Feeling so much better, I was able to enjoy Christmas and join the Hospice annual party. In January I was invited to a reunion of Millers' Engineering ex staff in Wrexham. It was such a pleasure to meet colleagues of nearly thirty years ago, one of whom not only put me up for the night but also gave me a lovely picture of one of my favourite places in north Wales, which he had painted. I did not wait for completion of my house sale before moving to my new home. At this point I think it is appropriate to include a little story, which is relevant to so much that follows.

How two lonely people found love through Yellow Pages On the day I moved, my new next door neighbour, Lena, handed me the current issue of "Yellow Pages" which had been left in her care while Number 13 was vacant. This informal introduction quickly led to friendship, we found great pleasure in each other's company and, quite soon, both realised that our friendship had developed to a deeper feeling of love.

We were two lonely people, we had both had wonderful marriages, sadly ended several years earlier, and finding each other brought happiness that neither of us thought we would experience again. I know that both our families are aware of our feelings, and are happy for us. We are invariably included in each other's family gatherings.

"Good old Yellow Pages"

Before my move, I had no inkling of what life would be like in Hollygarth. The impression engendered by "sheltered housing" envisages a community of old people waiting for the final curtain. How wrong this impression is, at least as far as Hollygarth is concerned. It is a community out to enjoy life to the full - a hard working committee arrange various functions in the centre. Hollygarth Close, which consists of thirteen bungalows, responds 100% to any invitation.

Restored to good health, with new interests, life became full. I had more work for the Hospice and was able to resume my travels. I made my annual pilgrimage to Berriew and Carno with Mair, visiting Jim and Muriel at the same time, and later made Scarborough once again, good fun as always. A sad event was the death of Noel McKenzie, made more poignant by the fact that Norma and he had recently moved home. Happily Norma had already made friends in their new village. I drove down to Gloucester for the funeral, my longest drive for some time. Happy news was the engagement of Kate and Neil, celebrated by a family meal at The Royal Oak in the village.

During a visit from Nick and family, he revealed that he had a cancerous growth on his tongue. Early diagnosis was quickly followed by an operation in Lancaster Royal Infirmary to remove it. Subsequent check-ups have, thankfully, shown a good result. Cousin Doug suffered a heart attack followed by a spell in hospital, during which he has been restored to good health. Dilys and I planned a holiday in Scotland - a package with Shearings seemed a good idea. We settled for one in the Deeside area, centred in Carbridge.

On Sunday morning we visited Braemar and saw the queen on her way to Crathie church. We had several outings to places of interest including Loch Ness. A tour of a whisky distillery was of great interest to me. One evening we had the opportunity to dance the "Gay Gordons," one of our favourites in earlier days. I'm afraid that one of us no longer had the required energy. Dilys also took part in line dancing. On the last evening, a lone piper played on the old river bridge, before piping in the haggis for our Scottish meal.

Dilys had decided on a move to Anglesey and was very upset on our return to find that the sale of her bungalow had fallen apart - later she was able to sort it out and has now moved to Trearddur Bay.

On one of Nick's visits we had a trip on the North Yorkshire Moors Railway. The railway was enjoying a "wartime" weekend. Pickering Station was crowded with people in 1940s dress, and George Formby and Vera Lynn look-alikes were performing on the platforms. Along the track mock skirmishes between British and German troops were being enacted.

On my first Christmas in Hollygarth I arranged "open house" over two days to friends and neighbours to call for a drink and a snack when it best suited them.

I was still enjoying a free and easy life when Nick visited at Easter. We had an outing to the Tees Barrage, Transporter Bridge and South Gare. The following morning I did not feel very well and my whole body was covered with a bright red rash. This was the onset of my year of trauma. I was admitted to South Cleveland Hospital, where I really was very ill, and only partially aware of what was going on. I do know that Louise and Ian sat by my bedside all night on more than one occasion. I do not know how long I was in hospital, but on feeling better I deluded myself into thinking that I would be able to manage at home. Even with the help from Social Services, family and friends, it was soon evident that I could not cope, and I was readmitted to hospital. Intensive trials with medication continued, eventually stabilizing up my condition and I returned home. No one in the hospital was ever able to explain the "rash ."

Life was still very difficult - I could just about manage to get from the bedroom to bathroom. I did not enter my sitting room for weeks. Eventually I began to regain some mobility and was determined that I should be able to attend Kate's wedding, planned for early August. This became my goal, and in the event Nick pushed me to the church in a borrowed wheelchair to a really lovely ceremony. Needless to say, I did not go to the "do" afterwards.

From this "watershed," I made slow but steady progress, eventually managing a walk to the village, resting at all available seats en route. My progress was interrupted by an unrelated incident: my (second) pacemaker was causing infection of the site. Dr. Hall decided that it had to be removed immediately. Back to South Cleveland again! I had to remain in hospital until the infection was cured before a third could be fitted. A further problem, where? The decision was in my "tum," for which extra long leads had to be obtained from USA. It is apparently a very new operation, and mine was the first on Teesside.

Discharged just before Christmas, I made good progress until a lung infection saw me back in hospital where I was very ill, spending several days and nights on oxygen. Once again, I had a glimpse of the "pearly gates." After weathering this crisis it was discovered that the ventricular lead of my pacemaker had come adrift necessitating a further operation. I finally returned home in mid January. I must pay tribute to South Cleveland Hospital, ward 23 in particular. Everyone, consultants (Dr. Hall especially), doctors, nurses, technicians and by no means least the domestic staff were efficient and caring. I am sure I could not have had better treatment anywhere.

I can't begin to thank Louise, who for so many weeks, visited every day at a time when she had so many other demands on her, including looking after my home and Harry. She, Ros and Lena were life savers in so many ways. I know that I was quite horrible to each of them at times and they could not have been blamed for abandoning me.

Home once more, my health improved quite dramatically, and I was soon able to walk to the village. Harry had decided that he would not let me out of his sight. He is with me as I write. A carer from Social Services prepares my breakfast, one of whom also gives me my weekly bath. It is a great comfort to know that someone from the outside world will be here each morning, bright and early. These ladies also ensure that I receive my necessary medication.

Lena and I have become closer, sharing in the preparation and enjoyment of our meals. We spend most evenings together, leading to a feeling of contentment that must be clearly visible to everyone. Meeting granddaughter Lynn' s husband Paul, for the first time, I announced, "I am John". His reply, "I can see that from the sparkle in granny's eyes."

Well enough to think about my 80th birthday, I decided to have a lunch party. On February 26th some sixty relatives and friends, old and new, joined me in our centre. Very old friends from my Silcock days, John and June, came from Chester, Dilys from Anglesey. Geoff and Eileen, the other members of "our eight" who were on holiday in New Zealand, telephoned me on the day. Hollygarth Close was present in force. I was so pleased by the presence of my newest friend Karen who nursed me with such loving care during my many weeks on ward 23. When I had a slight "hiccup" due to the excitement of the occasion, Karen was quickly on the scene. The party was a great success, the catering superb. One of my "carers" said it was "talk of the village."

I think my 80th birthday is an appropriate date to end this chapter.

In the game of life I have been dealt a very good hand, mainly queens, kings, and aces with just the odd joker. A year ago, there was very little hope that this chapter would be written, but as Louise says, I am "a tough old bird." That, and the loving support of family and friends has ensured my survival.

May 2000.

Robert having moved into the world of dot-com, Michael has volunteered to take on the role of amanuensis. I must thank Robert once more for his valiant efforts with the earlier chapters, not least in deciphering my handwriting. I know that with all the alterations, rewriting and editing he is as familiar with the text as I am.

Best of luck Michael.